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Secret Communique, For Charles Carreon’s Eyes Only. Do not read if you are part of the Popehat/Randazza Illuminati Conspiracy

November 27, 2012

Charles,

I just saw your post and it saddens me that the Illuminati have at last caught up with you. I warned you about appearing in court, but I’m not going to say “I told you so.”

But now that there is no escaping this litigation, I have some more suggestions.

First off, don’t go attorney pro se. Let me be your lawyer, after all, I work as a Public Defender for the State of New York  so I’m the perfect choice to defend you (just as your experience with Sex.com makes you the perfect lawyer for Craig and Chance). Also, I have a brilliant and cunning plan.

I see that Levy and the rest of your adversaries are attempting to make you pay over $4,000 in attorney’s fees because you dodged service. Your email response in Exhibit S of the affidavit was brilliant!

Steinbaugh says that you only have until 6 December to file your answer. We all know he’s an idiot, and obviously doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but we’ll humor him and file by then, just in case.

In the meantime I need Tara to break out her photoshop tools (NSFW) and we’ll photoshop pictures of Ken, Marc, AdamPaul and Cathy that we can post on Is Anybody Down and send links of these pictures to all of their potential clients.

This is where the plan can go one of two ways. First option: They will be so desperate to get these pictures taken down that they will take advantage of my services. Except, they will find that my prices are higher for “high-profile” clients. I will demand that they EACH pay $4,000, 3 zombie kittens, 2 komodo dragons, and a vial of dinosaur DNA (you may sing that list to the tune of “12 Days of Christmas” if you so wish), so even if the judge does order you to pay those fees, you are paying it with THEIR money, and still making some (which, of course, you’ll split with me). Option B is that they don’t seek to use my services, in which case we sent them to Crystal Cox for her to paste all over her Randazza Hate websites. So it’s a win-win.

And of course, if things start to go south, we can always use insanity as an excuse.

I have sent this communique to you via my best trained Messenger Zombie Kitten.

Should it fall into the Illuminati’s hands she is trained to attack, hopefully infecting them all with the Zombie Virus.

Please, Please, Please let me be your lawyer. Being council to someone as prestigeous as yourself would make Mother oh so proud of me!

David Blade, III

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One Comment
  1. I just snorted my martini. Can I sue you?

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